Two podcasts and a blog

When I'm ruminating on a problem it seems like the whole world has something to contribute. For example, my daily routine includes listening to several podcasts and reading several blogs. Today there were two podcasts and a blog post that seemed to contain lessons, though I'm not sure they made things very clear.

Podcast #1: The Tragedy of Dogma by Dr. Clark Carlton
In this short lecture, Dr. Carlton explains that dogma, or rational thinking about God, is an obstacle to prayer. Because of where I am on my own spiritual journey I find that I tend to defend the dogmas of Orthodoxy, particularly when confronted with the dogmas of other traditions like Roman Catholicism. It is easy to line up teachings side by side, compare and contrast them, and throw out the ones I don't like. What's harder is putting those dogmas aside and getting to the heart of the matter -- the person of Christ. How do you discuss Christ? I think you don't.

Podcast #2: The Mystery of God by Fr. John Oliver
This podcast approached a similar topic through a story about Vacation Bible School. Fr. John's observations of the difference between the children's experience of Church and his own is that the children are less bound by rigidity and give God room to be God. They're less dogmatic and more experiential. Same lesson: less dogma, more Christ; fewer human definitions, more still small voice. On the one hand I know that I tend to rest in dogmas when everything else seems uncertain, and on the other hand I blame the Roman Catholic church for putting too many definitions on God and not giving Him freedom to be Himself. Is that contradictory, or is my retreat into dogma a natural reaction to being confronted with it? Strangely, Chris seems to be mostly free of his church's dogmatic leanings, so I don't know where my reactions come from.

Blog post: Christ Crucified by Fr. Stephen Freeman
Here is where everything comes together: "To believe that Christ was crucified and risen from the dead and not to empty ourselves and take on the form of a servant is not to be a Christian at all." Again we see the dichotomy between believing and doing, so that point is firmly hammered home. But the question I have about my own life is here, in St Paul's letter to the Philippians: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

It seems that all of these arguments could make a case for me agreeing to raise my children in the Roman Catholic church. The decision would involve sacrifice, a step away from dogma, and action in the interests of another. It would also clear a huge barricade between us and marriage. But I still have so many reservations about the Roman Catholic church that I'm not clear on how that decision would bring me (or my children) to Christ. I'm sure if I were mature in my faith I would be more able to step away from the Church and continue to find God where I am, but I don't think I can do it. I feel like I am single-handedly miring us in this holding pattern, and I'm not always sure I'm making the right decision by holding fast.